Live Joy

We spend so much time worrying about making the wrong decision. We go back and forth. We make pros and cons lists. We talk it through with friends. We replay every possible outcome in our heads. And then we sit there… stuck. Losing sleep over it. Feeling overwhelmed. Completely drained from thinking about it over and over again. That’s decision fatigue—and it’s real. But what if the problem isn’t the decision? What if it’s the way we’re thinking about it?   Most of the time, when we feel stuck, it’s because both options are actually good. There are pros on both sides. There are risks on both sides. There are unknowns on both sides. And instead of seeing that as a good thing, we see it as a problem. We tell ourselves there’s a “right” choice and a “wrong” choice… and we become so afraid of choosing wrong that we don’t choose at all.   But what if there are no wrong decisions? What if either option is going to work out just fine? What if the real po...

  Every spring, I wait for my tulips to bloom. It’s something I look forward to every single year, the moment they push through the ground and bring color back after a long winter. And without fail, I say the same thing to myself… “I need to plant more tulips.” The funny thing is, I’ve actually bought the bulbs before. More than once. And yet, I never plant them. Because planting tulips doesn’t happen in the spring when the excitement is there, it happens in the fall, six months before you ever see a single bloom. And fall? Fall is full. The boys’ sports schedules take over, work gets busy with the end-of-year push, and most days feel like I’m just trying to keep up. Taking time to do something that won’t pay off for months feels… unnecessary in the moment. So, I put it off. And then spring comes, the tulips bloom, and I wish I had made the time. The other day, it really hit me, this isn’t just about tulips. This is how so many of us approach our lives. We want change, we wan...

  This week feels a little more personal. As a lifelong athlete, I’ve always loved the hustle. I love having a goal. I love pushing myself to see what I’m capable of. That mindset has served me in so many ways but one thing I’ve had to learn the hard way in midlife is this: our bodies don’t respond the same way they used to. For example, my coach gave me a goal of 12,000 steps a day. Simple enough, right? But if you’re anything like me, your brain immediately says… if 12,000 is good, then 15,000 must be better. That’s how I’ve always operated, do a little more, push a little harder, go the extra mile. But what I didn’t realize is that I was actually doing more harm than good. My body wasn’t interpreting that extra effort as “dedication” it was interpreting it as stress. My cortisol levels were elevated, inflammation was creeping in, and instead of supporting my goals, I was working against them. Now, I’m on a strict 10,000–12,000 steps per day. And I’ll be honest… some day...

I didn’t expect to be writing this. But if you are a parent with a child in youth sports it’s worth reading what some clubs are doing! But after the last several months, I have to share it because this isn’t just about soccer anymore. It’s about fairness. It’s about kids. And it’s about a system that, somewhere along the way, lost sight of both. My son has played club soccer for the same organization for six years, Southern Indiana United (SIU). Six years of commitment. Six years of showing up. Six years of believing in the process. And while our other son, who also plays for SIU, has had stability (three coaches in six years, same teammates, consistent development)… My other son’s experience has been the complete opposite. In those same six years? Eleven different coaches. Players constantly leaving. No consistency. No real development structure. But we stayed. Why? Because we were told a new coach was coming in someone we knew, respected, and believed would ...

  If you grew up in the 80s and 90s like I did, you know exactly what I’m about to say. Skinny was everything. We were told to eat as little as possible, do hours of cardio, and avoid lifting weights because we might “look like a man.” Every magazine, every celebrity, every model reinforced the same message, smaller was better, thinner was the goal. And whether we realized it or not, so many of us spent years chasing that. Then things started to shift. We moved into a body positivity era where the focus became more about confidence, acceptance, and overall health. It felt like we were finally stepping away from the pressure to be as small as possible. But lately, I can’t help but notice that we are quickly starting to slide back. “Thin is in” again, and I’m going to say this as clearly as I can, we cannot do this again. Midlife changes everything. What worked in your 20s does not work the same way after 40. Hormones shift, muscle mass naturally declines, and bone density starts...

  A few weeks ago, I was talking to one of my favorite people on this planet. We’ve been friends for almost 39 years. She is one of the most brilliant women I know… and also one of the most anxious and nervous. We were talking about her daughter’s soccer trip. Their flight was delayed which, as we all know, means no sleep, a long weekend, and a lot of unknowns. And just like that… she went down the rabbit hole. “She’s not going to play well in her games now.” “She’s going to be exhausted when she gets home Sunday.” “She has a test this week—she’s not going to do well.” “This is going to be a disaster.” And I just paused for a second and asked her… “Does it really matter if she fails a test in 6th grade?” “Does it matter if she doesn’t have her best game?” “Will any of this matter a year from now… or even a month from now?” And of course… the answer is no. But this is the reality for so many people. It used to be my reality too. We take a small moment… and...