Live Joy

  A few weeks ago, I was talking to one of my favorite people on this planet. We’ve been friends for almost 39 years. She is one of the most brilliant women I know… and also one of the most anxious and nervous. We were talking about her daughter’s soccer trip. Their flight was delayed which, as we all know, means no sleep, a long weekend, and a lot of unknowns. And just like that… she went down the rabbit hole. “She’s not going to play well in her games now.” “She’s going to be exhausted when she gets home Sunday.” “She has a test this week—she’s not going to do well.” “This is going to be a disaster.” And I just paused for a second and asked her… “Does it really matter if she fails a test in 6th grade?” “Does it matter if she doesn’t have her best game?” “Will any of this matter a year from now… or even a month from now?” And of course… the answer is no. But this is the reality for so many people. It used to be my reality too. We take a small moment… and...

“You are not stuck. You are scared. Stuck means no options. Scared means uncomfortable options. You have choices. They're just hard choices. Own that. Then make one. The door isn't locked… you're just not ready to walk through it yet.”   I came across this quote recently and it stopped me for a moment because it speaks directly to something many of us experience at different times in our lives. We often tell ourselves that we are stuck. We say we're stuck in a job we don't love, stuck in habits we wish we could change, stuck in our health journey, or stuck in a routine that no longer feels aligned with the life we want to  live .   But when we pause and really examine the situation, most of the time we are not truly stuck. Being stuck would mean there are no options at all. In reality, what we often face are choices that feel uncomfortable, uncertain, or difficult to make. Those choices require change, and change naturally brings fear.   Growth almost always require...

Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about where we spend our energy. It feels like the world today pushes us toward extremes. On one side, we’re told that nothing should bother us. Don’t react. Don’t care. Don’t worry about anything. Just ignore it all and move on. On the other side, we’re told the exact opposite. That we should react to everything. Stand up for every issue. Argue every point. Fight every battle. Social media especially seems to magnify these extremes. It can make it feel like you have to choose one side or the other. But real life isn’t meant to be lived in extremes. There has to be balance. The truth is, not everything in life is worth your reaction or your energy. There are so many things we simply have no control over. Spending our time worrying about them, arguing about them, or carrying them around in our minds doesn’t benefit us in any meaningful way. But and this is an important but some things absolutely are worth our energy. Some things are worth s...

Last week I wrote about feeling blah , that heavy, unmotivated feeling that shows up sometimes even when nothing is technically wrong. I wanted to follow up on that because I realized something important: sometimes what we actually need isn’t motivation… it’s alone time. Last Sunday, for the first time in a while, we didn’t have soccer games. My boys were at their dad’s, and I intentionally planned the entire day as a ME day . My goal was simple: do nothing. Now, I still kept my promise to myself to move my body, so I worked out. But after that? I put my sweats back on and gave myself permission to just exist. I read. I watched TV. I meditated. I rested. What I didn’t do was my to-do list. No laundry. No cleaning. No catching up. No productivity. Life is always busy. There is always something to clean, organize, respond to, plan, or finish. The list truly never ends. And for me, being home usually means I’m doing something — or at least feeling like I should be doing som...

This week I’ve felt a little “off.” It’s hard to explain, I just don’t have the same motivation I usually do. Do you ever have those days where you just feel… blah? You can’t quite put your finger on it, but you don’t feel like yourself. That’s where I’ve been. I know part of it is physical. I haven’t been sleeping well for about a month. The stress of my dog being sick and waking up 3–4 times a night has definitely taken a toll. I’ve still been getting my steps in on the treadmill, but I’ve missed my outdoor walks since she can’t go far while she’s recovering. I’m sure that shift has affected me more than I realized. But it feels like more than just sleep. I’ve been more tired than usual. More emotional. More overwhelmed with everyday life. Even the simple things have felt heavier. And here’s what I’ve realized: I still have to stay consistent, even when I don’t feel like it. I don’t always feel like getting up to work out. I don’t always feel like getting my steps in. Som...

  We hear it everywhere: “Kids are resilient.” Friends say it when we’re wrestling with a hard choice. Therapists say it when a life-altering event is unfolding. Movies and TV repeat it like a comforting mantra. And the other day, I caught myself wondering, do we say that because it’s true, or do we say it because we need it to be true? I think, often, it’s our way of giving ourselves permission. Permission to make a decision that’s hard. Permission to choose something that benefits us. Permission to believe that even if this is painful now, our kids will be “fine.” And sometimes they are. But let’s be honest for a moment. What do adults go to therapy for? Their childhood. The things that were said. The things that weren’t. The moments they felt unsafe, unseen, unworthy, or not enough. The big “T” traumas. The little “t” ones that quietly shaped how they see themselves and the world. Some adults work through those wounds. Some never do. Some carry them into every relat...