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Not Everything Deserves Your Energy

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Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about where we spend our energy. It feels like the world today pushes us toward extremes. On one side, we’re told that nothing should bother us. Don’t react. Don’t care. Don’t worry about anything. Just ignore it all and move on. On the other side, we’re told the exact opposite. That we should react to everything. Stand up for every issue. Argue every point. Fight every battle. Social media especially seems to magnify these extremes. It can make it feel like you have to choose one side or the other. But real life isn’t meant to be lived in extremes. There has to be balance. The truth is, not everything in life is worth your reaction or your energy. There are so many things we simply have no control over. Spending our time worrying about them, arguing about them, or carrying them around in our minds doesn’t benefit us in any meaningful way. But and this is an important but some things absolutely are worth our energy. Some things are worth s...
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The Most Productive Thing I Did This Week Was Nothing

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Last week I wrote about feeling blah , that heavy, unmotivated feeling that shows up sometimes even when nothing is technically wrong. I wanted to follow up on that because I realized something important: sometimes what we actually need isn’t motivation… it’s alone time. Last Sunday, for the first time in a while, we didn’t have soccer games. My boys were at their dad’s, and I intentionally planned the entire day as a ME day . My goal was simple: do nothing. Now, I still kept my promise to myself to move my body, so I worked out. But after that? I put my sweats back on and gave myself permission to just exist. I read. I watched TV. I meditated. I rested. What I didn’t do was my to-do list. No laundry. No cleaning. No catching up. No productivity. Life is always busy. There is always something to clean, organize, respond to, plan, or finish. The list truly never ends. And for me, being home usually means I’m doing something — or at least feeling like I should be doing som...
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You’re Not Lazy. You’re Likely Overloaded

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This week I’ve felt a little “off.” It’s hard to explain, I just don’t have the same motivation I usually do. Do you ever have those days where you just feel… blah? You can’t quite put your finger on it, but you don’t feel like yourself. That’s where I’ve been. I know part of it is physical. I haven’t been sleeping well for about a month. The stress of my dog being sick and waking up 3–4 times a night has definitely taken a toll. I’ve still been getting my steps in on the treadmill, but I’ve missed my outdoor walks since she can’t go far while she’s recovering. I’m sure that shift has affected me more than I realized. But it feels like more than just sleep. I’ve been more tired than usual. More emotional. More overwhelmed with everyday life. Even the simple things have felt heavier. And here’s what I’ve realized: I still have to stay consistent, even when I don’t feel like it. I don’t always feel like getting up to work out. I don’t always feel like getting my steps in. Som...
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Are Kids Really Resilient… Or Is That Just What We Tell Ourselves?

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  We hear it everywhere: “Kids are resilient.” Friends say it when we’re wrestling with a hard choice. Therapists say it when a life-altering event is unfolding. Movies and TV repeat it like a comforting mantra. And the other day, I caught myself wondering, do we say that because it’s true, or do we say it because we need it to be true? I think, often, it’s our way of giving ourselves permission. Permission to make a decision that’s hard. Permission to choose something that benefits us. Permission to believe that even if this is painful now, our kids will be “fine.” And sometimes they are. But let’s be honest for a moment. What do adults go to therapy for? Their childhood. The things that were said. The things that weren’t. The moments they felt unsafe, unseen, unworthy, or not enough. The big “T” traumas. The little “t” ones that quietly shaped how they see themselves and the world. Some adults work through those wounds. Some never do. Some carry them into every relat...
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When Joy and Fear Collide

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  Last week, I wrote about how life requires both the highs and the lows because without grief, we wouldn’t understand joy. Without sadness, we wouldn’t fully recognize happiness. What I didn’t expect was to be living those very words just days later. A few weeks ago, our dog Bailey was diagnosed with pneumonia. She wasn’t eating, her breathing was labored, and when we brought her to the vet, her temperature was dangerously high. X-rays confirmed the infection, and she was immediately started on two antibiotics. We were hopeful. But at her follow-up appointment, everything had gotten worse. Her breathing was more strained, her fever had climbed even higher, and the X-rays showed progression instead of healing. The veterinarians began testing for fungal pneumonia, a process that takes 7–10 days for results and started her on antifungal medication while we waited. Then came the longest 48 hours. She deteriorated quickly. One night, she kept me awake with what I can only...
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The Cardio Edit: Learning to Work with My Midlife Body

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  I did everything “right”… and still gained weight  Let’s talk about the type of cardio we should be doing in midlife. I grew up playing soccer, where conditioning and speed were everything. Later, while training for figure competitions, I spent hours doing steady-state cardio- running, elliptical, stair mill, sometimes up to two plus hours a day. Like many of us, I was taught that running was better than walking, that cardio mattered more than strength training, and that getting your heart rate up was the key to burning calories and protecting your heart. And then came the midlife edit . What worked effortlessly for years suddenly stopped working. I learned this the hard way when I realized that running, something I had done on and off for most of my life, was no longer serving my body. In fact, every time I trained for a half marathon, I gained weight instead of losing it. What I eventually discovered was that my cortisol levels were chronically elevated when I ra...
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When Winter Gives You Permission to Pause

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Winter has a way of giving us permission we rarely grant ourselves. All year long we tell ourselves we’re too busy for the things we want to do. Too busy to rest. Too busy to read. Too busy to think. Too busy to just be. Life moves fast, calendars fill up, and we convince ourselves that slowing down will happen “someday.” And then winter arrives. Right now, we’re in the middle of a storm. Soccer games were canceled. School is canceled tomorrow. The world outside has literally pressed pause. Snow covers the ground, the air is cold and quiet, and everything feels just a little softer, a little slower. This is your invitation. Winter isn’t here to interrupt your life, it’s here to remind you of it. The snow and the cold give us a natural reason to stay in, to exhale, to move at a gentler pace. To sit with a warm drink. To read a few pages. To journal. To stretch. To do something simply because it feels good. You don’t have to be productive today. You don’t have to hustle thr...
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