When Life Doesn’t Follow the Schedule - Back to School

 

Every year when summer ends, I think I’m going to immediately fall into the perfect back-to-school routine. Wake up at the same time. Get my workout in. Walk the dog. Get the boys off to school. Work all day. Soccer in the evening. Get everyone home, reset the house, go to bed at a reasonable time and do it all again the next day.

Sounds great, right?

Except that is definitely not how this school year has started.

We are already a few weeks into school, and I still haven't mastered my morning routine. And surprisingly, I'm okay with that.

Our Schedule Completely Changed

Back-to-school always changes our routine, but this year it feels like almost everything changed at once. The boys have a new school start time, which means they need to be on the bus at 6:55 a.m. Soccer practice times seem to change daily. Then we have weeknight soccer games where we sometimes don't get home until 10:30 at night.

I've also changed my own routine. Instead of working out at home like I used to, I'm going to the gym for my strength-training workouts. I love the change, but going to the gym requires more time and planning than walking downstairs and working out at home.

Then there's Bailey. Walking her is one of my priorities, but we're in that awkward part of the year when it's still really hot during the day and yet the sun isn't rising until around 7 a.m. I don't like walking in the dark, so fitting in her morning walk has become another puzzle piece I'm trying to figure out.

She's eight now and still recovering from being sick earlier this year, so I don't want to walk her when it's extremely hot. At the same time, she loves her walks and deserves that exercise and time outside.

Add in working all day, getting the boys where they need to be, soccer games and practices, meals, laundry, the house and everything else that comes with everyday life... My beautiful summer schedule is officially gone.

Normally, This Would Stress Me Out

This is probably the biggest thing I'm doing differently this year. Normally, I would think I needed to have my new schedule figured out on day one. By week three? I definitely would have expected myself to have perfected it.

What time am I waking up? When am I going to the gym? When am I walking Bailey? When am I getting everything ready? What's the nighttime routine?

I'd try to create the perfect schedule, and then I'd get frustrated when real life didn't cooperate with it.

This year, I'm giving myself something I haven't always been very good at giving myself: Grace.

I'm giving myself time to figure out what actually works instead of forcing myself into a routine just because I think I should have one by now. Three weeks in, and I still don't have the perfect schedule.

And that's okay.

When You Lose Your Routine, Find Your Priorities

One thing I am realizing is that when life loses some of its structure, you don't necessarily need to immediately create another perfectly structured schedule. You need to know your priorities.

What are the things that need to happen even when the rest of the day gets rearranged?

For me, one is strength training. Taking care of my body and getting stronger is important to me, so my workouts need to have a place in my week. Another is walking Bailey. The exact time might change, but I'm going to find a way to get her walk in while also being mindful of the heat and what her body can handle.

And another big one is sleep. I push my body every day. I strength train. I walk a lot. I'm constantly moving. My body needs sleep to recover. But my brain needs it just as much.

I work all day in a job that requires me to think, make decisions and solve problems. Then I switch into mom mode, soccer mode and everything-else mode. Sleep isn't wasted time that I can borrow from indefinitely just so I can fit one more thing into my day.

So if we get home from a soccer game at 10:30 at night, the next morning might need to look different. I'm learning that adjusting the plan isn't the same thing as abandoning it.

A Few Things Helping Me With Back-to-School Mornings

I'm still figuring this out, so I'm certainly not going to pretend I have the magic morning routine. But a few things are helping.

I start with the non-negotiables. Instead of scheduling every minute, I decide what absolutely needs to happen and build around those things first. I'm also learning to use anchors instead of exact times. Sometimes "after the boys get on the bus" works better than "at exactly 7:00 a.m." Life doesn't always cooperate with a minute-by-minute schedule.

Preparing what I can the night before helps too. Gym clothes, school things, sports bags, water bottles and anything else that can eliminate one decision in the morning makes things a little easier.

I'm also realizing I may not need a morning routine. I may need a normal school day routine, a morning-after-a-late-game routine and maybe another version for days when schedules change.

And most importantly, I'm learning not to create a healthy morning routine by sacrificing something else my body needs. Getting up ridiculously early to check every box isn't necessarily healthier if I'm consistently exhausted.

And Then There Are the Evenings...

Our evenings might be even less predictable than our mornings right now. Some nights we're home at a reasonable time. Other nights we're sitting at a soccer field. And some nights we aren't walking back through the door until 10:30.

I'm learning to lower my expectations for what has to happen before bed. On a normal night, maybe I get more done. On a late soccer night? The goal is pretty simple: get home, get everyone settled, do whatever absolutely needs to be done for tomorrow and go to bed.

The laundry can wait. The house doesn't need to look perfect. Not everything needs to be crossed off today's list before tomorrow can begin.

One thing that does help is taking a couple of minutes at night to look at the next day. What time is practice? Is there a game? When can I realistically get to the gym? When can I walk Bailey?

Instead of trying to make tomorrow fit my ideal schedule, I'm trying to build my schedule around what tomorrow actually requires.

Maybe the Goal Isn't a Perfect Routine

I still love structure. I love schedules. I love knowing what my day looks like. But this season of life doesn't always cooperate with that.

Maybe the goal isn't to create a schedule so perfect that nothing ever disrupts it. Maybe the goal is to create a life that can flex when the schedule isn't perfect.

Know your priorities. Take care of the things that matter. Prepare where you can. Adjust when you need to. And give yourself a little grace while you're figuring it all out.

Summer ending doesn't mean we immediately have to have the next season mastered. Sometimes it takes a few weeks to find your rhythm again.

And apparently, I'm still finding mine. But this year, instead of stressing about that, I'm giving myself the time to figure it out.

Because maybe finding joy in a busy season isn't about finally getting everything under control.

Maybe it's learning to enjoy your life even when you don't.