Stop Working Out. Start Training.

After almost 10 years of working out at home, I recently started going back to the gym. And one of the biggest things I’ve noticed is how many people are “working out”…without much of a plan.

They wander from machine to machine, do a few exercises, maybe whatever they feel like that day, and then come back the next day and do something completely different. And the next week the same thing, different machines, different exercises.

And listen, if your goal is simply to move your body and say, “I worked out today,” there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. I spent years doing that, with Beachbody workouts and other online programs. But if you are in midlife and your goal is to actually build muscle and get stronger, you need a plan.

I personally strength train five days a week (3 to 5 times a week is suggested), and I use an app that tracks every workout, every exercise, set, rep and weight. I follow the same workouts for eight weeks at a time. I just finished my first eight-week block since going back to the gym, and I downloaded my progress from the app.

My hack squat increased 40 pounds. My cable back row increased 25 pounds. And there were improvements across so many of my other exercises.

That is getting stronger. Not “I think I'm stronger.” Not “This feels easier than it used to.” I have actual numbers showing that the same movement I performed eight weeks ago can now be performed with significantly more weight. And I wouldn't know that if I hadn't followed a plan.

Muscle Building Is Kind of Boring

One of the biggest misconceptions about working out is that we constantly need to change things to keep our bodies guessing. But building muscle actually requires a lot of repetition.

You don't need a brand-new workout every week. You don't need 25 different exercises. You don't need to walk into the gym and decide what looks fun that day.

You need to pick good exercises, repeat them for 6–8 weeks, track your weights and reps, and progressively challenge yourself. Basically, you have to be willing to be a little boring. Because if you change your exercises constantly, how do you know whether you're actually improving?

And Yes, You Need to Lift Heavy

Especially as we get older, strength training isn't just about looking toned. We're trying to preserve and build the muscle that becomes increasingly important for how we want to live later in life. That means your weights need to challenge you.

If you're doing 8–10 reps, those last few reps should feel HARD. By the end of the set, I want the weird gym face. You know the one.

One way to know if you are lifting heavy enough is if you finish a set and 30 seconds later feel completely ready to do it again, there's a good chance you could challenge yourself more. For heavier strength work, you should rest 90 seconds to two minutes between sets so your muscles can recover enough to actually perform the next set well.

We're not trying to see how quickly we can get through the workout. We're trying to give our muscles a reason to adapt.

Midlife Needs a Plan

At this age, I don't want to spend five hours a week in the gym just to check a box. I want those hours to count.

I want stronger legs. I want strong bones. I want to maintain muscle. I want to be capable at 60, 70 and 80. And I want to actually be able to look back and say, yes, I am stronger than I was eight weeks ago.

The scale can't tell me that. The mirror can't always tell me that. But my numbers can.

So if you're strength training in midlife, try this: choose a program, stick with it for 6–8 weeks, write down your weights and reps, rest between your sets, and challenge yourself. Then look back at where you started.

Because “I work out” and “I am training to become stronger” are two very different things.

And at this stage of life, I'm much more interested in the second one.