When Did Youth Sports Spot Being About the Kids?

I didn’t expect to be writing this. But if you are a parent with a child in youth sports it’s worth reading what some clubs are doing!

But after the last several months, I have to share it because this isn’t just about soccer anymore.

It’s about fairness.
It’s about kids.
And it’s about a system that, somewhere along the way, lost sight of both.

My son has played club soccer for the same organization for six years, Southern Indiana United (SIU).

Six years of commitment.
Six years of showing up.
Six years of believing in the process.

And while our other son, who also plays for SIU, has had stability (three coaches in six years, same teammates, consistent development)…

My other son’s experience has been the complete opposite.

In those same six years?
Eleven different coaches.
Players constantly leaving.
No consistency.
No real development structure.

But we stayed. Why?

Because we were told a new coach was coming in someone we knew, respected, and believed would finally bring the stability and leadership my son deserved. So, we made the decision to commit again.

Here’s where it gets complicated…

In high school soccer, there’s no fall club season. So you try out in June… but the season doesn’t actually start until March. (Yes, it’s as strange as it sounds.) And about three months after tryouts… we found out: That coach? Was not going to be his coach anymore.

Another coaching change. (and then again a few months later another coach change so if you are counting that is now 13 coaches!!)

At that point, my son made a decision. After his high school season, he tried out for another club, one where:

·        Eight of his former teammates from SIU were already playing

·        The coach was someone he respected and wanted to learn from

He made the team. He started practicing. He was excited again. Finally, he was excited again. And as a parent… that’s all you want. As a youth organization that is what you should want too. 

So, I did what I thought was the right thing.

I emailed the original club, let them know he wouldn’t be returning, and asked if they could simply credit our other son’s account. That’s it.

No fight.
No demands.
Just trying to move forward.

And then we were told something we honestly couldn’t believe:

They refused to release his player card.

What does that mean? Good question…..

He couldn’t play anywhere else.

Their exact words:

“He can either play for us… or sit out.”

Let that sink in.

We pay to play.
They don’t pay us.

And yet… they were telling us we didn’t get to decide where our son plays. When we told our son that they were doing this, he truly could not understand, why would they do that to a child, why would they be okay with letting a child who only has 3 more years to play “sit out?” Obviously it’s not about money because they were willing to give that back to us. It wasn’t about numbers because they were willing to let him sit out. All we can assume is it was about control.

We reviewed the agreement.
There is nothing in it that states they can do this.

We had an attorney review it.
And send a formal demand from our attorney.

We were even advised to contact the Attorney General.  We spent four months fighting this. Four months. It was a complete waste of time, the club contradict themselves over and over again.

 

We spoke to other clubs in Indiana. We spoke to clubs in other states. We spoke to the state league. We spoke to other sports travel and club teams. Every single one said the same thing: “We release the player. We keep the money.” Which, to be clear, we were completely fine with and told them to keep the money just release him and they again refused. For us it was never about money.

It was about our son having the opportunity to play in an environment that actually supports his growth.

And yet… SIU club refused to release him.

At one point, the board responded with:

“We think it’s best that he plays for SIU.”

And I remember thinking…

How could you possibly know what’s best for my son?

You’ve never met him.
You don’t know his goals.
You haven’t seen his experience over the last six years.

Remember this is not a rec league, when kids try out for a team, they’re not just choosing a jersey.

They’re choosing:

·        Coaching

·        Development

·        Culture

·        Teammates

And unfortunately, what was promised… was not what was delivered.

This isn’t about one club anymore. This is about a bigger issue in youth sports.

Somewhere along the way, it stopped being about the kids…
and started being about control.

Kids should have the opportunity to grow.
To find the right environment.
To pursue what fuels them.

And parents—who are investing time, energy, and money—should have a voice in that.

 

We tell our kids to work hard.
To advocate for themselves.
To chase what’s right for them.

But what happens when the system doesn’t allow that?

I don’t have all the answers.

But I do know this:

No organization should have the power to tell a family,
“Play for us… or don’t play at all.”

We’ve talked to more than three dozen SIU parents, and not one of them knew this was something the club could do. Every single one was shocked.

For a league that claims its purpose is to “provide a quality, safe, and fun soccer experience that results in love and respect for the game,” this experience does not align with that mission.

If youth sports are truly about development and what is best for the kids…Then we need to start putting the kids back at the center of the game.

 

We didn’t ask for anything unreasonable.

We simply wanted our son to have the opportunity to play, grow, and enjoy the game he loves.

And while this experience hasn’t been easy, it has made one thing very clear:

This is what can happen and families deserve to know, youth sports need to do better. I have now heard from all over the country, it’s happening everywhere. When did youth sports stop being about the kids?