When Life Has Other Plans

The universe has a way of making you make changes and usually, it happens when you least expect it and definitely when you don’t want the change.

At least, that seems to be how it works in my life.

Things will feel good. Stable. Predictable. I’ll finally feel like I have found my rhythm, and then suddenly life decides it is time to shake things up.

And there I am, standing in the middle of a situation I didn’t ask for, didn’t plan for, and certainly didn’t feel ready for.

I was talking to a friend recently who is going through her own version of a life “shake-up.” We were talking about how difficult it can be when something changes that you had no intention of changing yourself. She said something that stuck with me:

When unexpected things happen, I try to find the lesson in them.

I love that perspective.

Not because I believe we need to immediately turn every difficult experience into something positive. Sometimes things just hurt. Sometimes we are angry, disappointed, confused, scared, or grieving what we thought our life was going to look like.

And I think we need to give ourselves permission to feel all of that first.

But eventually, when the emotions settle a little and we can see beyond the initial shock, maybe there is another question we can ask:

What am I supposed to learn from this?

Sometimes the answer comes quickly.

Sometimes it takes weeks.

Sometimes it takes years before we can look back and finally understand why a certain season of our life unfolded the way it did.

Maybe the lesson is about boundaries.

Maybe it is about trusting yourself.

Maybe it is learning that you are capable of doing something you never thought you could do.

Maybe it is realizing that you have outgrown a person, a place, a job, a relationship, or even an old version of yourself.

Maybe the lesson is that you have been playing small because comfortable felt safer than uncertain.

And maybe sometimes the shake-up isn’t there to teach you a lesson at all.

Maybe it is there to redirect you.

That is the part I am trying to remember right now.

We spend so much time trying to create stability in our lives that when something disrupts it, our first instinct is often to fight to get everything back to the way it was.

But what if we aren’t supposed to go back?

What if the disruption is pushing us toward something we never would have chosen while we were comfortable?

There are moments in life when we voluntarily step outside our comfort zones. We set a new goal. Take a risk. Chase a dream. Reinvent ourselves.

And then there are moments when life pushes us outside our comfort zones without asking permission.

Those are harder.

But they can also change us the most.

I have always believed that real growth happens outside our comfort zones. The problem is that I usually want to be the one who decides when I leave mine.

Life doesn’t always give us that option.

So when life throws you for a loop, give yourself time.

Feel the emotions.

Be angry if you need to be angry. Be sad if you need to be sad. Mourn what you thought was going to happen. You don’t have to immediately find the silver lining or pretend that you are excited about a change you never wanted.

Then, when you are ready, start doing the work.

Heal.

Get curious.

Ask yourself what this season might be trying to teach you.

Ask what you need to let go of.

Ask what you are being pushed toward.

Ask whether you are fighting to hold onto something simply because it is familiar.

And most importantly, trust that you don’t have to understand the entire story while you are still living in the middle of it.

Sometimes all you can do is acknowledge that there may be a lesson here.

There may be growth here.

There may even be an opportunity here that you cannot see yet.

And for me, that gives me hope.

Hope that the things disrupting my life today might someday make sense.

Hope that I will come out the other side stronger, wiser, and more certain of who I am.

And hope that sometimes when life shakes everything up, it isn’t destroying the life you were building.

It might just be making room for the life you are meant to build next.