Embracing Who I Am: The Power of Structure and Challenge

 



I’ve always thrived on structure and challenges. Whether it’s training for a race, competing in figure competitions, tackling the 75 Hard Challenge, or climbing the career ladder, having a goal to work toward gives me purpose. Structure keeps my days flowing smoothly, and discipline provides me with a sense of freedom. As Jocko Willink says in Extreme Ownership, “Discipline is my freedom.” That quote perfectly captures how I feel—without structure in my schedule and a goal to focus on, I lose my sense of self.

And that’s exactly what happened over the last few months.

I’ve been navigating multiple major life changes at once. For someone who prides themselves on discipline, I assumed my routines and goals would remain intact. After all, even when I was unemployed for a year, I still woke up at 5 AM, worked out, stuck to my habits, and stayed productive. But this past October, everything shifted.

I started a new job—90% remote with about 10% travel. If you’ve ever worked from home, you know how critical time management, focus, and discipline are. Add in work travel (which I hadn’t done in five years), and my rhythm was completely thrown off. On top of that, I also went through a divorce—literally signing my new job acceptance letter one day and filing paperwork at the courthouse the next. My day-to-day life changed in an instant.

As I tried to adjust, I let outside influences reshape my structure. I questioned my habits:
"Maybe I’m too strict—does it really matter if I eat sugar, gluten, or drink alcohol?"
"Maybe sleeping in isn’t so bad—5 AM is really early, after all."
"Why do I always need a goal? Why not just go with the flow?"

I gave myself a lot of “passes” and tried to embrace a more relaxed approach. But after months of living that way, I felt drained, sluggish, and disconnected from myself. The truth is, I wasn’t embracing a new way of living—I was abandoning the things that made me feel my best.

I’ve realized that I don’t need structure and routine—I want them. They work for me. I don’t have to chase challenges—I love pushing myself toward new goals. And that’s okay. Not everyone is wired this way, and that’s okay too. The key is allowing people to be who they truly are, without judgment.

So now, I’m reclaiming what makes me feel strong. My structured mornings are back. My goals are clear. Right now, I’m training for a half marathon in April with a goal of running it in less than 2 hours, and I’ve added another round of 75 Hard because I love the discipline it requires.

The biggest lesson I’ve learned.  We all have different ways of living, and that’s what makes us unique. Some thrive on structure, rules, and discipline. Others prefer a more flexible, go-with-the-flow approach. Neither is right or wrong—what matters is that we honor what works for us.

Here’s to embracing what makes you you.

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