Learning to Live — Lessons from Die with Zero

I want to share something today that has been rattling around in my head, and maybe it will strike a chord with you too.

I’ve always carried what you might call a scarcity mindset when it comes to money. Every paycheck, every bonus, every windfall — I’ve mentally divided it up, making sure I’m putting enough away for retirement, stashing money in my emergency fund, worrying about what might happen if the bottom fell out. That fear isn’t just abstract: in 2023, I lost my job and was unemployed for over a year. Thanks to a severance package, I wasn’t left empty-handed, but the fear was still real.

On top of that, as a single mother raising two teenage boys, my instinct has always been to protect, to prepare, to save. It comes from the way I grew up, watching my mom work multiple jobs, pinching pennies, doing everything she could so my brother and I never went without. It’s no surprise that the messages of “save for retirement,” “plan for a rainy day,” “invest young,” and “Social Security won’t be around for you” stuck deeply with me.

So, when a colleague recently recommended the book Die with Zero by Bill Perkins, I was intrigued and honestly, a little terrified. The title alone sent my scarcity mindset into overdrive: Die with zero? What if I run out of money? What if I can’t take care of my family? But I ordered the book anyway, and I’m so glad I did.

A Radical Shift in Thinking

The premise of Die with Zero is simple yet profound: money is a tool to help you live a full life, not the point of life itself. Perkins argues that the goal isn’t to die with a giant bank account, but to use your money during the stages of life when you can actually enjoy it.

He breaks life into chapters:

• In your 20s and 30s, you can take bigger risks.
• In your 40s, 50s, and 60s you are often at your peak earning years and still have the health to enjoy bucket-list experiences.
• By retirement, many people finally have the time and resources to “do all the things,” but often they no longer have the health, energy, or interest.

Reading this, I realized how many times I’ve told myself, “When I retire, I’ll travel more. When I retire, I’ll pick up that hobby. When I retire, I’ll really live.” But Perkins makes the case that by then, the moment may have passed.

Rethinking Legacy

One idea that shook me was how we think about helping our kids. I’ve always assumed part of my financial responsibility was to leave something behind for my boys. But Perkins challenges that too: why wait until you die?

Most people inherit money around age 60, long after they’ve established their own careers and families. What if, instead, we supported our kids when they actually need it? When they are buying their first home, raising young kids, or facing a financial challenge? That perspective felt both liberating and deeply aligned with how I want to show up for my family.

Investing in Your Health

Another powerful theme from the book is the importance of prioritizing your health at every stage of life. Perkins emphasizes that spending money on staying healthy, whether that is exercise, nutritious food, stress management, or preventive care, is not just an expense; it is one of the best investments you can make.

Why? Because your health is what allows you to enjoy the wealth you have worked so hard to build. What good is a robust retirement account if you do not have the strength, energy, or mobility to travel, play with your grandkids, or pursue the passions you set aside for “someday”?

Perkins encourages readers not to skimp on their health in the name of saving more. Take care of yourself now so you can extend your lifespan and maximize the time you have to create meaningful memories. It is a reminder that health is wealth, and it is one area where spending is absolutely worth it.

Experiences Over Excess

I have always believed in experiences. We take vacations, we go on adventures, I try to create as many memories with my boys as possible. But Die with Zero made me realize that the “someday” list should not wait. Whether it is travel, hobbies, or passions, we should be asking:

• Am I waiting for a “better” time?
• Will I have the health, energy, or desire later?
• Am I treating money as a tool for living or as something to hoard out of fear?

My Takeaway

This book did not erase my caution. I am still a saver, and I believe in planning wisely. But it gave me permission to balance saving with living. It reminded me that money is a means, not the end. And perhaps most importantly, it helped me soften my old story that “more savings equals more security equals more love and protection for my family.”

As someone who grew up always worried about the next bill, I can tell you: learning to live is its own kind of wealth.

If you have read Die with Zero or are curious about it, I would love to hear your thoughts. And if you are someone who has been putting off life for “someday,” consider this your gentle nudge: your someday might be right now.

 If you are interested in reading the book CLICK HERE